READ ME A BEDTIME STORY - Wise Wendy and Wild Wild Wes




Jonathan Joy

The Ashland Beacon


Wes was wild. His friend Wendy was wise. Not that you can’t be both. In fact, the best of us are made of equal parts energy and smarts. In this case, though, Wes was wilder than the average wallaby. And Wendy’s wisdom knew few bounds.   

Wes’s mom, Mrs. W, called her son Wild Wild Wes, as did most of his neighbors, while Wendy was always wrapped in wondrous praise.

Wes’s wild antics often got him in trouble, like the time he waded in the park water fountain. Wendy waited nearby, while reading the Wondrous Wonders of Wonderville on a park bench, and shook her head at the woeful display.

Wild Wild Wes was grounded until Wednesday. 

You would think he’d learn his lesson, but on Thursday at recess Wes whipped off Mr. Wilson’s white wig in front of the entire student body, and wow, was there a dustup over that. The principal wailed “Wes!” and called home to his parents. Wendy distanced herself from the whole thing, as she played whimsical wizard games with homemade magic wands.   

Wes’s punishment worsened, and Wendy didn’t see him for a whole week. 

When he was released from home confinement, Wes wandered west to Willowvale to warn his friend Wendy and her family that a pack of giant wasps were at war with the Willowvalians. 

“What a weird tale, Wes.” Wendy wagged her head back and forth. “Why don’t you just behave for once?”

Wes wasn’t sure. He took a moment and wondered. 

“Well, what do you want to do?” Wes inquired of Wendy.

Wendy suggested a visit to the walrus park or dressing up as witches for play pretend time or maybe just taking a walk. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to play pranks on the neighborhood watch or steal walnuts and waffles from Walmart?”

“No.” Wendy whispered. 

Wendy was troubled, her attempts at good influence waning.

Finally Wendy won the attention of Wild Wild Wes, when she suggested a watermelon eating contest. 

Wes could not turn down a good watermelon. He loved watermelon. And so did Wendy. 

Wes didn’t get in trouble that day. Not once, which surprised everyone the town wide. 

But while Wendy’s good influence rubbed off on Wes that day, there is evidence to suggest that his penchant for pranks may have wooed Wendy. I don’t know for sure who told the tall tale that wildcats were stealing Whooppers from the local Burger Queen or who convinced a group of wee ones that worms tasted as yummy as bratwurst (they don’t), but both incidents caused quite the buzz about town and I know for a fact that Wes was not to blame. All eyes were on him, but his alibis checked out for once. I did notice a mischievous…dare I say…wild smile on Wendy’s face that day.     

So watch out. Be it is Wes or Wendy winding your way, best to keep your guard up any old day. For I am beginning to think Wendy is a bit wilder than I once was sure and Wes is growing increasingly, wondrously witty. What a rambunctious…pair. I worry about that dangerous duo. Watch out, world.