Growing Greenup
Anne Stephens
The Ashland Beacon
Happy New Year! I hope that 2025 will bring time for focus on ourselves, our families, and what we can do to better our spiritual, mental, and physical growth in order to be able to best navigate our circumstances, whatever they may be.
I truly hope that everyone who reads this column can smile and greet the new year with a positive outlook. Each year, we gain experience and add to our memory banks. Our circles of friends and acquaintances may flux but family is a constant. It is important to keep family time as special throughout the year as we do during the holiday season. Maybe that is why we so quickly move into Valentine’s Day – we want that Christmas feeling of love and happiness to continue.
While I realize that love and happiness is not what holidays hold for everyone, I choose to focus on the positive. Not to ignore anyone’s difficulty, but to keep my own focus on the positive. As a person who is sensitive to others, I can find myself focusing on the details of someone else’s difficulty even when I can’t do anything to help make it better. This type of thinking can burn up energy and promote negative focus which is not helpful to anyone.
That is not to say that it is useless to care about other people. It is important to be aware and sensitive of others; but it is dangerous to take on pain and struggle that doesn’t belong to us. I like to think about it like people who work in careers that come into contact daily with grief and trauma. Doctors, nurses, lawyers, first responders, etc all must be able to step into someone else’s difficulty while keeping themselves calm and able to help. Caring is imperative to do that job well. But also, being able to separate from the difficulty and re-enter your own life without carrying it all over into your family circle is an important skill.
To continue on my theme of protecting oneself from society’s troubles, I will contradict myself a bit by quoting Brene Brown. “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.” I equally believe that we must set aside time to connect and learn about difficulties to know how to handle our own when they arise, and they will. Mentorship, whether it is formal or informal, is what we all need to face the future with the tools to be stable individuals.
When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, knowing that those waters have already been navigated by someone else can give us direction and strength. The power comes from a connection with other people. Family ties and friendship make the connection real. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is how we learn from each other. It is how we grow individually.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage.” Brene Brown
I love this quote because I believe that allowing ourselves to connect with others is just as important as knowing when to protect ourselves from the hurt that can come from another person. We can’t always know what to expect. That is why we need to be willing to show up for each other, define a desired outcome, and then work together to get there. It is not easy! But it certainly can be done.
When we put boundaries and vulnerability together in our lives, we allow ourselves to function where we are and keep room to grow. Individually stable people are better equipped to help others. As we move into this new year, may we all strive to be more stable as individuals while being vulnerable and caring toward each other.
As always, if you are looking for ways to give back to your community, contact me at the Greenup County Extension Office! There are always opportunities for involvement as a volunteer. We have programs on a variety of topics and will be happy to direct you to connections that meet your interests.
For more information, contact Anne Stephens, Agent for Community Arts and Development in Greenup County. 606.836.0201 anne.stephens@uky.edu 35 Wurtland Avenue, Wurtland, KY 41144 The Martin-Gatton College of Agriculture, Food and Environment is an Equal Opportunity Organization with respect to education and employment and authorization to provide research, education information and other services only to individuals and institutions that function without regard to economic or social status and will not discriminate on the basis of race, color, ethnic origin, national origin, creed, religion, political belief, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, pregnancy, marital status, genetic information, age, veteran status, physical or mental disability or reprisal or retaliation for prior civil rights activity. University of Kentucky, Kentucky State University, U.S. Department of Agriculture, and Kentucky Counties, Cooperating.
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