Read Me A Bedtime Story
Tilt-a-Hurl!
By Jonathan Joy
The Ashland Beacon
The students’ end of year field trip to the Wild Ways amusement park was in full swing.
Some rode roller coasters, while others soaked up log flume splashes. Many played games and ate ice cream, while more than a few took in the spooky sights and sounds of the haunted house. There were bumper cars and ski lifts and a big boat that swung to and fro.
It wasn’t all fun in the spring sun. Something threatening lurked in the shadows of the amusement park’s bordering “Don’t Go There Forest” and it was closing in with equal parts cruelty, brute force and mystical enchantments.
Suddenly, parkgoers’ joy turned to horror. The coaster stalled at its highest peak, stranding riders in place. Haunted house horrors broke loose, and those ghosts and ghouls ran amok in the park. The tilt-a-whirl would not stop whirling.
“Park pirates!” somebody screamed. Chaos ensued.
Buck Travers had recently taken a summer job at the Wild Ways. On this, his third day of work, Buck was staffing the arcade.
Those familiar with this column may recognize the name Buck Travers. He’s one of this town’s resident Teen Superheroes, having recently graduated from Kid Superhero, a title he earned nine years ago after besting The Great Chili Monster supervillain. Buck has been semi-retired from superhero work for quite a while, though, for things had been relatively calm in the city. The porch pirate blitz obviously changed that.
Buck sprang into action. Though he was a bit rusty, he used his power of flight to soar to the top of the roller coaster and rescue those stuck. Next, his speedy superpower came in handy, as he darted from one end of the park to the other, taunting ghosts and ghouls every which way. Before long, those haunted house spirits were chasing Buck. The pursuit ended when Buck led them all back into their haunted house and locked them inside.
By this point, many students escaped, climbing over the Wild Ways fence and breaking through the front gates that park pirates had locked to trap everyone inside.
The turbulent Tilt-a-Whirl terror remained, though. “There’s still a bunch of young ones stuck on the Tilt-a-Whirl! They’re looking awfully green. Can you help them?” a panicked school chaperone pleaded with Buck. Instantly, our Teen Superhero bolted toward the back end of the park where the Tilt-a-Whirl was located.
Buck’s superpowers were running low; nevertheless, he persevered.
Unfortunately, his weakened efforts were not enough. Buck was bested by the powerful park pirate that ran the tumultuous Tilt-a-Whirl.
That pirate easily tossed Buck onto the dizzying ride. Trapped, Buck became another one of its captors.
Buck could see the other kids on the ride looked sick, and he felt himself becoming queasy. “Must…reach…the other supers…” Was all Buck could muster as he reached for his phone and started texting his superhero friends. But the ride was spinning so fast, and Buck was so disoriented that he let his grip slip, and the phone flew out of his hand and off the ride.
The ride operator laughed menacingly.
Buck spun round and round and round and grew quite sick and weak. He closed his eyes, concentrated hard, and thought of the only thing that anyone on that ride could possibly do at this point. He screamed at the other kids on the ride. “Everyone! Listen to me. We only have one shot at this.” Buck commanded everyone’s attention. “On the count of three…hurl!”
Buck counted to three and hurl they did.
What happened next does not require graphic detail, readers, though it is safe to say Wild Ways amusement park goers on that day will never forget the sight or smell of the whirling, hurling ride that was so gross it drove those park pirates away, deep back into the “Don’t Go There Forest” from whence they came.
The Tilt-a-Whirl hurl had the double effect of both repelling the villains and clogging up the inner workings of the ride, so that it finally clunked, smoked, and slowed to a halt. As it did, two dozen dizzy kids stumbled off the ride and thanked Buck.
“Don’t thank me. We all did it together.” Buck responded.
All was once again right with the Wild Ways world. Upset tummies aside, no one was seriously injured in the onslaught.
Unfortunately for Buck Travers, the newest Wild Ways employees are always tasked with end of day clean up duties. Of course, this was no ordinary end of day mess, and there was no newer employee than Buck.
Fortunately, Buck got by with a little help from his Teen Superhero friends, who thankfully showed up and pitched in. And a half dozen or so Teen Superheroes can make quick work of even the nastiest damage.
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