Straight Paths- "Don't Give Up, Don't Ever Give Up"

“Don’t give up, don’t ever give up!"

By: Loren Hardin

The Ashland Beacon

      It’s hard to believe that it’s been over 25 years since Mike left this world. He was only 58 years old when he enrolled in our outpatient hospice program with pancreatic cancer. I didn’t know Mike at the time, but I knew of him. He and his wife, Janet, owned and operated a prominent garden center and landscaping business in Portsmouth, Ohio. Mike was also a canoeing enthusiast. He was a member of the National Canoe Association and founded the annual River Days, Scioto River Canoe Races. Mike talked about how much he enjoyed sharing his passion for canoeing with others, especially "first-timers."

      Over the course of our many conversations, I never got around to telling Mike that a friend of mine, Paul, and I had won a first-place trophy in the Scioto River Canoe Races. We won the K-2 division. Paul and I paddled to victory in a two-man canvas covered kayak, that I’d bought at a yard sale for $50. On second thought, maybe I know why I didn’t tell Mike. I would have also had to tell Mike that Paul and I were the only ones in our division, and that we were presented a leftover Girl Scout trophy. And I would have had to tell Mike that Paul and I were so exhausted that our wives had to carry the kayak back to the car and help us lift it upon the car rack.

      Mike was unvarnished and direct. From the first day we met he talked frankly about his terminal cancer and his approach to dealing with it. One afternoon Mike invited me to walk out back with him to his work shed. Immediately inside, to the right, was the skeleton of a cedar-strip canoe Mike was building. He hoped to finish it if his cancer "cooperated." To the left, and at the far end of the shop, was a drafting table, and upon the table was a drawing Mike had completed. It was of a man canoeing upstream and vertically up a waterfall. Above the picture was written "Don’t give up, don’t ever give up." Mike had the picture screen-printed on T-shirts and gave them to other cancer patients for encouragement. Mike yelled, "Here!" and threw me a couple T-shirts. I wore those T-shirts out canoeing, literally and figuratively.

      Well, Mike’s cancer didn’t "cooperate." He wasn’t physically capable of finishing his cedar strip canoe, but he didn’t give up, he never gave up. When he became too weak to stand, he took up whittling. His daughter, Michelle, took him to a whittling convention in Dayton, Ohio where he took classes from his wheelchair.

      During one of my visits Mike said, "Let me show you something" and he handed me a small hand carved canoe about six inches long covered with white birch bark. Mike explained, "I’ve been making these as presents for my family and friends." Janet reflected, "Mike spent hours in the basement whittling and he gave away several of his canoes."

      I’ve observed that life unfolds in progressive developmental stages with corresponding tasks or challenges. When we experience the loss of what used to be, or losing what we used to be, it’s easy to lose heart. We say in our heart, "What good am I to anybody?" "What’s the use?" "What difference does it make?" Who cares?" "I don’t know why God has me here?" "What else can I do?" During these transitions, these "times of changing weather" ("Pilgrims Progress," John Bunyan), we desperately need to turn our sighs into questions and diligently seek the answers.

      Mike embodied the mindset of "acceptance without resignation," which says, "I may not be able to …. but I can still …" He realized and accepted that there was no going back to what used to be; therefore, he reconstructed his life, reinvested himself, and lived until the day he died. His body may have worn out, but he didn’t give up, he never gave up.

      The Apostle Paul wrote: "I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus, I fight, not as one who beats the air …" (1 Corinthians 9:26-27); "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith," (2 Timothy 4:7); And Paul exhorted his young protégé, Timothy, "Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life …" (1 Tim 6:12). Or in the words of our fellow pilgrim, Mike, "Don’t give up, don’t ever give."

        "Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart,” (Galatians 6:9-11).

       Loren Hardin was a social worker with SOMC-Hospice for twenty-nine years. He can be contacted at 740.357.6091 or at lorenhardin53@gmail.com. You can order Loren's book, "Straight Paths: Insights for living from those who have finished the course," at Amazon.