“Don’t Miss the Gem by Disqualifying the Source"
Loren Hardin
This is part two of a series about Loyal who enrolled in hospice services with lung cancer when he was seventy-six years old. He was thin with silver-gray hair combed straight back. His typical dress was a solid-color oxford shirt with a button-down collar, tucked into his khaki pants, held up by suspenders. He sat with perfect posture, reflective of a man of discipline. When I asked Loyal what it was like to have cancer, he replied, "I feel like I’m out of the stream of life. But I used to be in the stream of life. I owned and operated my own trucking company. I had several trucks and drivers, and we transported produce from the south to the north. When I was in my prime I was a prizefighter in St. Louis, and I fought back when you fought every Saturday night for ten dollars a fight. And I’ve been knocked down, but I’ve never been knocked out. I’ve always thought that life wasn’t very interesting without a challenge. But all my life I looked for challenge in all the wrong places, and it cost me my first wife and my children. I wasn’t saved until I was seventy, but since then I’ve found that there’s nothing like trying to understand the heart, mind, and will of God. I get a kick out of it! I only wish I’d known sooner. I’ve learned so much, but now there’s no one who wants to listen. I don’t blame them, but knowledge isn’t supposed to be lost; it’s supposed to be passed on." I told Loyal that day, "I’m here and I’ll listen! And I’ll pass it on."
A few weeks later, in mid-conversation, as if suddenly remembering something, Loyal abruptly stood up, clutched his walker, and said, "I’ll be right back." He slowly and carefully hobbled across the living room floor. He held onto his walker with his left hand and pulled back the curtain to his bedroom with his right. He disappeared behind the curtain and emerged about five minutes later with an old book, with a tattered black cloth cover, tucked under his arm. He held it out and said, "I want you to have this." The hardback cover was held together on the inside by strips of transparent, yellowing packing tape, and on the inside cover page was written, "From Loyal." The title of the book was The True Vine and Its Branches, by Rev. Edward Leen. Loyal said, "I think you’ll appreciate it. You’ll find yourself coming back to it time and time again. I have. Now the fellow who wrote this book may not be of the same persuasion as you, but don’t miss the gems by disqualifying the source."
Loyal’s condition declined over the next several weeks rendering him bedfast. Even though we both knew that his days were numbered, neither of us came right out and acknowledged it; we didn’t need to. When someone knows their days are numbered, they can become astonishingly real and transparent. After all, there’s no longer any reason to play games or pretend. As Loyal reflected upon his life he confessed some grievous regrets. I felt like Loyal was making is a deathbed confession, and in retrospect, I suppose he was. Loyal declared, "It’s all true. So, I guess you’re probably going to write me off now, aren’t you?" I’m telling you; it can be disarmingly uncomfortable to watch tears run down a seventy-six-year-old man’s face as he pours out his heart to you. I shamefully admit that I was somewhat taken aback, for I had concocted an idealized figment of Loyal as a man, as a person. After a time of awkward silence, I replied, "No, I’m not going to write you off. I’m not going to miss the gems by disqualifying the source." After all, who in the world was I to cast the first stone (John 8:1–11), and who was I to judge another man’s servant?” (Romans 14:4).
“If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” (1 John 1:7-7).
Loren Hardin was a social worker with SOMC-Hospice for twenty-nine years. He can be reached at 740.357.6091 or at lorenhardin53@gmail.com. You can order Loren's book, "Straight Paths: Insights for living from those who have finished the course", at Amazon.
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